Self Confidence

What is confidence? Where does it come from? Why do some people appear more confident than others? 

The Truth about Confidence

Confidence is that belief in yourself or others that assures you that you or they will deliver. It is quite simply, founded on faith, but where does this faith come from?

It comes from inside yourself and is usually based on past experiences and knowledge you have acquired. What you know or believe to be true and factual. If you believe in something you feel much more confident about placing your trust in it.

It doesn't have to be true though - you just have to believe it is true. Before making a big decision we like to gather the facts so that we can be confident in our choice. Facts build confidence. Lack of confidence comes from convincing yourself that something won't work, or that you will fail or just don't have the ability to do something. Why should failure be any more likely an outcome than success? How often have you convinced yourself though that you will fail at something without even trying?

Bridges

Imagine for a minute that you want to cross a huge deep ravine. To drop into this ravine would be certain death. In front of you are two bridges.

The nature of those bridges will be a deciding factor in which one you choose. One is a rickety, old and decrepit affair, made of fraying rope and rotten wood. The other is a strong steel structure with solid sides.

We learn about danger at a young age. Throughout our life we experience mishaps and make mistakes. Natural instinct is to prolong our lives. The fragile looking bridge does not give us much confidence. There is no apparent strength in it. The facts we have accumulated through our life tells us that rotten wood may break, frayed rope may snap.

Likewise our confidence in the strong structure is founded on our experiences and knowledge of the strength in steel.

If asked at the edge of the ravine which bridge to choose your response (unless you are completely reckless) is likely to be the steel bridge. If asked why, you would most likely say that it is the obvious choice. You would make the decision pretty quickly.

Your Bridge

On your personal journey you will often come across ‘ravines' on the way to your goals. Your self confidence is like a bridge. Over the years experiences and other people may have frayed a few of the ropes or rusted some of the struts but it is your bridge.

If you lack belief in yourself you will stop in your tracks when you come across your ravines and either turn back, disappointed or stay looking wistfully at the other side.

If your confidence is high you will march on, accepting the risks in crossing, but believing your ability to succeed is strong enough to proceed.

Strengthen Your Bridge

It is up to you to strengthen your bridge. You can do it. In the same way that your experiences and facts you have learned over the years have contributed to your present levels of confidence in yourself as a person, you need to assess your current confidence levels to truly see where you are and what is stopping you moving on in your life.

If you feel comfortable in your own skin, feel happy to try new things, don't worry about what other people think of you then confidence is not an issue for you. However if constantly doubt your ability or understanding, feel foolish or uncomfortable in front to of others, get affected by what others say to you or wish you had achieved a lot more in your life then it is likely that you have issues with your self esteem or self confidence.

To improve your confidence you need to develop a more balanced view of yourself. Although you may not believe it you are an OK person. People with low esteem tend to focus on the negative in themselves and their lives.

You also need to work out how to deal with other people and situations that can potentially knock your confidence levels. We interpret what we hear as we want to hear it - a confident person learns to hear it in a balanced way, taking into account all the facts.

That is the real secret to confidence - learning and using all the facts in a situation.

Finally to be confidence you need to act confident. It may seem odd and false to start with but with time it gets easier. Start building the facts for success in your head and experience not failure. Focus on when your succeed, not when you make mistakes. Tell yourself you are a confident and capable person.

That is the secret to confidence!